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Star Wars Has Become Obsessed With Pointless Heroic Suicides

Star Wars now has enough movies that it can fill every inch of its galaxy far far away with characters we’re supposed to give a damn about. But the writers seemed to have found a preferred way to slim down the franchise so we don’t have to memorize so many weird-sounding names: martyrdom.


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It seems that in the current run of Star Wars movies, not a single story can happen without one of the heroes bravely sacrificing themselves at the drop of a hat. In Solo, young Han and a team of scrappy outlaws are robbing a train to get their hands on some expensive fuel. But when the plan gets complicated by the arrival of a rival gang, one of Solo’s buddies, Val (Thandie Newton), decides to blow herself up to give her crew some extra time. That’s quite the noble streak for a cautious hardened criminal one job away from retirement.

At least the martyrs in The Last Jedi are actual good guys, though that doesn’t make their sacrifices any less stupid and pointless. The movie opens with Rose’s sister suicide-bombing the enemy, which turns out to achieve … absolutely nothing. How does the Resistance make up for this mistake? By having the leader of their fleet also suicide attack the First Order. Because if at first you don’t succeed in kamikaze-ing the enemy …

Disney/Lucasfilm“Look, it worked in Independence Day!”


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In fact, one of the most dramatic moments in the movie is when Rose stops Finn from achieving yet another suicide run. Luckily, they immediately follow that up by having Luke Skywalker meditate himself to death so that the Rebels don’t have to break out into a jog while escaping, so fans had plenty of other things to be angry about.

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But the award for most pointless sacrifice has to go to Saw Gerrera, Jyn Erso’s fake uncle in Rogue One — and it’s already hard to stand out as a martyr in that movie, given that the entire premise is one big suicide mission. When the Death Star slowly blows up his base, he refuses to evacuate because … well, just because. The only justification the audience gets is “I will run no longer.” Maybe he simply knew that as a mentor in Star Wars, you either die like a badass midway through the story or live long enough to see your apprentice turn into an emo douche.